For my second video post, I wanted to take up something that I’ve felt is important to me as a parent, and that’s allowing the contribution of children in the family. I’ve written about this probably more times than any other subject on this blog (like here and here and here and here), and it’s something I feel pretty strongly about.
You can see the above for my thoughts on the matter, though I’d heavily recommend the following, which are much better than my own thoughts – the writings that actually comprise where I got the idea from.
Parents, naturally, contribute more to a child than the child contributes back. As soon as the child sees this he becomes unhappy. He seeks to raise his contribution level; failing, he gets angry at the contributing source. He begins to detest his parents. They try to override this revolt by contributing more. The child revolts more. It is a baddwindling spiral because the end of it is that the child will go into apathy.
You must let the child contribute to you. You can’t order him to contribute. You can’t command him to mow the grass and then think that is contribution. He has to figure out what his contribution is and then give it. If he hasn’t selected it, it isn’t his, but only more control.