Directing a Child’s Attention

L. Ron Hubbard quote from his article on Directing a Child's Attention, taken from the Scientology Handbook.
L. Ron Hubbard quote from his article on Directing a Child’s Attention, taken from the Scientology on-line course on Children.

One of the skills just about any parent gets to know pretty fast, especially in dealing with toddlers, is the art of directing attention.

Take an instance where the kids are insisting they don’t need jackets, don’t need boots, and can just do as they please. With my kids, I’ve learned that if I want a crying, rebellious, tantrum-prone child on my hands, the best way to accomplish such is to physically take them inside, lock the door, and tell them they can’t go out or they’ll be dirty and sick. Do something like that and they’ll start crying, and then go make some other part of the house dirty or something. It doesn’t really achieve the parenting goal you had in mind.

Thus, one of my favorite quotes from the Scientology on-line course on Children:

“Many people habitually tell a child, “Don’t do that or you’ll get sick,” “My goodness, you’re certainly getting a bad cold,” “You’ll get sick if you keep on with that,” “I just know Johnny’s going to get measles if he goes to school,” and countless other such pessimistic suggestions. They also use thousands of “Don’ts,” “Can’ts,” and “Control yourself” phrases. Parents may watch themselves for these phrases, and avoid their use as much as possible. With a little imagination and practice, it is not difficult to find ways of keeping children safe without using constant verbal restraints. As much as possible, suggestions made to a child should be positive. Graphically illustrating what happens to a glass bottle when it drops will get the idea across better than a thousand screams of “Get away from that!” or “Put that down!”

“Smooth, gentle motions and a quiet voice will go far toward averting restimulation when children are being handled. Anyone who wishes to work successfully with children will cultivate these attributes. They are particularly valuable in emergencies.” – L. Ron Hubbard [full quote here]

How do you demonstrate to a child what happens when you jump in a mud puddle? Tell them, "Don't do that, you'll get dirty,"?
How do you demonstrate to a child what happens when you jump in a mud puddle? Tell them, “Don’t do that, you’ll get dirty,”?

So, taking the example above, how to handle it so that the kids aren’t psychotically jumping in mud puddles all the time? Well, for me, it was demonstrating in a somewhat (somewhat) controlled environment what happens when you jump around in the muddy rain with your sneakers on. Just let them do that, and see that it’s really, really uncomfortable. Then, wash them off and try it again with rain boots. Problem solved – no more chasing after children to make sure they don’t jump in the pond. Well, pretty much anyway.

The above article contains a number of other techniques that I’ve also found extremely useful in the subject of directing attention. Sometimes, especially with young kids, you want to use regular, verbal logic to deal with a child’s upset or accident. But many times, they just simply can’t articulate it well enough for you. You know, maybe, that they were exposed to a violent argument between a teacher and a parent, or between mommy and daddy, and they’re obviously pretty wound up about that. What to do? The article above gives some good techniques for using pictures or dolls or stuffed animals to help them articulate what it is that’s troubling them.

 

 

6 thoughts on “Directing a Child’s Attention

  • May 27, 2013 at 9:53 am
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    hey Tad great post, for sure directing attention is awesome skill I hope when it comes to me I will be capable of using it 🙂
    Kasey Robeza recently posted…regałMy Profile

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  • May 27, 2013 at 5:54 pm
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    Hi!
    The link above to the full LRH quote is busted.

    Thanks for the use of tech and the tight care to only use LRH and not others rewrites!

    Very best!

    Reply
  • May 27, 2013 at 8:28 pm
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    Great article. It’s so important not to be saying “be careful, be careful” all the time to a child, making him scared of the world and everything in it. And yet we have a duty to protect them. I agree the best way is to show rather than tell the consequences, where that’s possible – of course there are some things you don’t want them ever to do, like run into the road, but that can be talked through without making them overly fearful.
    Kerry G recently posted…Best Baby Toys 12-18 MonthsMy Profile

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  • August 2, 2013 at 12:13 pm
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    From my experience it’s much easier when you use something which the children love as a bait to point their attention to something. For example my children love to travel and if I promise them a tip, they are ready to do everything I ask them to. 🙂

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  • November 27, 2013 at 10:03 pm
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    Being a positive parent is a huge mindset shift, and it makes all the difference for the child. Being a negative parent is lazy but short sighted.

    Your examples of dropping a glass bottle and stopping in the mud with sneakers and then with boots take time and effort, but are immediate as well as long-term lessons. The child learns to trust your word and the bond strengthens for life.

    Positive parental attitude is essential. Thanks!

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