Mommy Kissing It and Making It Better

My two-year-old jumping off a rock by her uncle's Pennsylvania log cabin

Thought you all might like this little insight on that practice we’re all familiar with of “kissing it & making it better” (thanks to David Calkins of Mace-Kingsley for sharing):

“Well, now, actually, it’s not even funny, because a little child will bark his knuckles or stub his toe or something and it’s almost — you can almost see him plot the whole thing out. He barks his knuckles and, like a small rocket, heads immediately for Mom and says, ‘See?’

“And Mama says, ‘Oh, that’s nice. Mama will kiss it and make it well.’ And Mama does and that’s the end of that game.

“The funny part of it is, if he plays that game convincingly, if he’s convinced he is playing a game, that Mama will give him attention and that it is interesting and so forth, child will get over doing this. And actually the speed with which they heal up a bump or a bruise which is appropriately noted by both parents is quite remarkable, unless they are so short of games they keep it around to be noted tomorrow. But a child who is neglected is a child who will be hurt. And a child who is getting an adequate amount of attention doesn’t ever get hurt. Isn’t that odd?”

L. RON HUBBARD

from lecture
Chronic Somatics
17 August 1956

I’ve seen this in action more times than I can count – especially now that I have two kids.  My daughter (two and a half) is in full-time activate-interlocks-dynatherms-connected-infracells-up-megathrusters-are-go mode.  Of course, that comes with its fair share of bumps, bruises & tumbles.   But, as long as she gets to communicate to us when she takes a flying leap into the side of a table or does a faceplant off the couch, she’s fine and goes right back to being a kid.   She generally just wants us to acknowledge the BIG BRUISE she just got herself, and then goes right back to it.

But, somewhat predictably, when we were whirling around trying to get ourselves packed for our Hawaii trip the week before last, my daughter all of the sudden seemed to be hitting her head on EVERYTHING.  She eventually just needed to tell us she was hungry.

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It’s when we (unintentionally) ignore her to some extent, due to chores, the young one, etc, that we end up with her (almost inexplicably) having a rash of injuries all at once.  It’s like all of the sudden the game stops being “run around the house as fast as possible” and degrades to “get mom & dads attention somehow”.

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For more information on getting kids up on their feet after an injury, watch the above video and take the free Scientology on-line course available here on Assists for Illnesses & Injuries.

7 thoughts on “Mommy Kissing It and Making It Better

  • January 25, 2012 at 11:37 pm
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    Wow! Good point! My son only 3 months had a few moments similar to that. Of course I was in a communication cycle with someone but he was trying to tell me something but I was unintentionally focused on this other person. But suddenly he just bashed his head on my chest. Of course we went silent waited for it to pass with an assist and then I said, “I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention. What was that again?” And of course – he just wanted to be put down, was tired of being carried – and was happy as Larry after that. Thanks for that. I’ll keep this in mind for when he gets older. 🙂

    Reply
    • January 27, 2012 at 3:55 pm
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      Ha! I had my own invented definitions for those. I was a bit disappointed when, at the advent of the Internet, I decided to try to look up “infracell” and found that my invented definition was what I was going to have to go with. 🙂

      All I know is that you best get out’d’way when my daughter has MEGATHRUSTERS ARE GOO!!!!! No need to be confused on what that means.
      Tad recently posted…Mommy Kissing It and Making It BetterMy Profile

      Reply
  • January 27, 2012 at 8:21 pm
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    Funny thing is my son (almost 3) recently started asking me to “kiss it better” after bumps etc. At first I didn’t like it. Then one day I saw the quote from LRH and realised that it was totally fine for him to do it. I was no longer worried it was having a negative affect (I had some idea that it would make ME, or someone else, “cause” over his injury). Now, if I get hurt he does “kiss it better” on ME, which is just so cute!

    Reply
  • February 1, 2012 at 6:06 pm
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    I love how they can go from intense crying to telling you about it once or twice and be all smiley and running off! It’s like magic to watch the resilience in these little kids.

    And kissing boo boos is always comforting (Even for grown-ups I think but we’ll never admit it!)

    Reply
    • February 1, 2012 at 6:15 pm
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      Oh, I’ll be the first one to admit it’s comforting for the parent too. Some of their boo boos are superficial, others I just CRINGE at.

      Speaking of which, following was my mom’s commentary on the subject on reading the article:

      Nice article about kissing and making better. It sure works on any level of boo-boo! There were times when you were little when you had some pretty impressive wounds and I had a little back-off on kissing things that were covered in mud, sand, tree bark or heavy bleeding. What worked in those times was admiring the hell out of the damage you had done to the body with little or no pain. And the fact that the arm, leg or knee or whatever was still working and usable. I would get you to explain exactly how you had landed and in exactly what position the limb was and by this time you were so totally over-acknowledged that you’d say, “oh the hell with it! This mother of mine is wasting my time. I’ve got stuff to do! just mop up some of the blood and let me go! I’m so out of here!”

      Tad recently posted…Words I Never Want My Kids to Say: “Dad, I am SOOO BOOORED”My Profile

      Reply
  • February 14, 2012 at 10:51 pm
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    Pretty absorbing blog. Pretty absorbing and excellently published blog. Thanks!

    Reply

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