Was my Life’s Goal to Be a Mother Going to End in Despair?

How would you say going Clear has affected you as a parent?

I’d like to give you a full answer to this, as you’ll have to know the bad, to appreciate the difference this has made.

You see – as far back as I can remember I’ve always wanted to be a mother.




From the age of four, through my childhood, and all the way into my 20’s, I was incessantly talking about having a baby.  I babysat all of my childhood, and in taking care of countless children, I was just confident that I would be a good mother.  So, when I finally met my husband, I naturally was absurdly excited to start a family.

However, when I finally got pregnant and had my son, I found myself haunted by negative thoughts and irrational, unwanted emotions.  I didn’t understand these feelings I had, I knew they weren’t me, but I didn’t know what they were and why it was I couldn’t control them.

I hated the anger I felt and the feeling of being out of control and positively frustrated at not knowing how to handle it. In my overwhelm, I started to feel – for the first time in my life – that perhaps I didn’t know how to be a good mother, and wasn’t cut out for it after all.  I started to feel a need to restrain myself, and was constantly fighting an inner battle to not lash out at my son.

On top of all of that my husband and I began to argue a lot as new parents.There was a lot of making wrong and hours or even days of silence between fights.  We had already been married for 11 years and had only known the dynamic of the two of us and transitioning into the new dynamic with a baby proved to be rather difficult.

That may seem pretty bad, but I hope some of you moms out there will relate to some of this stress that can be triggered by something as intense as a new baby.

Now for the good part.

As I started my journey to the State of Clear, my life started to change dramatically.   I curiously began having more patience with my son, allowing him more self-determinism and freedom as an individual.


Emily and her family after attesting to the State of Clear.
Emily and her family after attesting to the State of Clear.

I discovered that those irrational feelings and emotions were not me and found them dissipate the more I went through the processing. My confidence as a mother rose and rose, and my husband and I started communicating vastly better about our parenting, getting ourselves on the same page.   We began to respect each other and each other’s needs, and really started coming together as a team to handle our new family.

This all has also very obviously rubbed off on my son, who’s become much happier and more carefree, has never been sick, and at the age of two just potty trained himself.  My husband, my son and I now have a beautiful relationship, and I see my boy just thriving.

Once I attained the State of Clear, life has just been different in nearly every sense.

What changes have you noted with your son or in dealing with day-to-day matters in since starting your Scientology auditing program?

11125279_10153199406599049_1100733244_nOn day to day matters I’ve discovered that I approach my son much differently than before. Instead of getting angry and losing my patience with him I find myself calmly able to speak to him like a person and I treat him with respect and understanding. Of course, the day-to-day upsets and frustrations still happen, but they are handled with much more sanity than before.  My husband and I now are able to quickly resolve conflicts (and seriously – how often do married couples get BETTER at resolving conflicts as their marriage drags on??)  and we get through the difficulties and trials of life in a much more solution-oriented manner.

But what’s been most important to me, is that I can now really approach my son as his mother and as myself, confident in my own viewpoint, without being burdened either by irrational emotion, or anxious over other viewpoints of how I should raise my son.   It is our belief that children are people just like us but in smaller bodies and I absolutely treat him as such.

I feel so incredibly fortunate to have discovered this technology which has allowed myself, my son, my husband, and our future children the ability to live a more sane and happy life!

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