Dianetics includes the use of particular (and very effective) techniques, but it’s more the understanding of people and of the mind that I find I use with others, including my children, on a day to day basis. Following are a few ways that I’ve found Dianetics of indispensable use as a parent:
KNOWING WHAT I’M LOOKING AT
With a good understanding of Dianetics, I know the parts of Man, I know the parts of the mind. I thus understand the person in front of me better and where they might be coming from or why they might be acting the way they are. As a result, I tend to be more tolerant of the foibles of others, and I make better decisions and bring about better solutions in handling others.
A person is made up of three parts: his body, his mind, and the spirit (which is the person himself). The mind has two parts: the analytical and the reactive (see video here). There is much more to be known about this, but those are a couple of fundamentals.
So, how does this help me as a parent? As a wife? Easy. What about a child throwing a tantrum? What about a child “acting out” irrationally? What about a child who is completely overreacting, sobbing about something we consider so minor? What about a child who fights going to bed tooth and nail because of irrational fears? How about a husband who’s punching a hole in the wall or a wife who is an anxious, irrational nag? In such situations, I know what I’m looking at. It isn’t the person themself. It isn’t the analytical mind. I am looking at the reactive mind playing out before me.
Just knowing and taking a moment to recognize this, I’m already a step back from it, and can handle the situation better as a point of cause, rather than being at effect. At least I can try! Jumping into such a situation with a lot of force, threats, yelling, crying, or anything else just plays right into the reactive mind and tends to make the situation worse. Recognizing that it is simply reactive helps me solve it. It can also lessen any tendency I might have to take it personally, get really upset, or go reactive myself.