Kirstie and Jason are Scientologists, and are raising two young children in the San Francisco Bay area. Both Kirstie and Jason recently completed major Scientology Auditing programs, having both attained the State of Clear. We asked Kirstie her thoughts on this, and how it’s affected her as a parent, and as a new mother.
You both recently completed some major auditing services. How would you say this has affected you as parents?
Going Clear has been amazing as a parent. We have always tried our best to treat our children with respect and to allow them to grow and create their world as they see fit. We have given our daughter Ella a longer leash than I’ve felt comfortable with at times but stuck to our guns to allow her the space to learn and explore.
Achieving the State of Clear has allowed me to feel relief and calmness where before I would panic and feel anxiety if she stepped out of my sights for a moment or got a little too far.
I feel it’s so important to not stop children from learning and experiencing their environment but in today’s society we are taught to fear our children being at more than arms length. It was always something I mentally had to battle, to allow her that freedom and control my own fear.
That is entirely gone now and I can freely experience her joy in discovering the world without being afraid danger is lurking behind every corner. Those irrational thoughts of how she could get hurt or lost are gone. It has made me so much calmer as a parent and I find it worlds easier to just enjoy her and have fun with her.
The first few months of my sons life were calm and happy without the emotional up and downs I experienced with my first. Learning to parent two children has been a challenge and I’m so thankful for the auditing I’ve received. It has enabled me to stay in the present and despite being ridiculously sleep-deprived, I can distinguish between emotions that are necessary and appropriate for a situation and ones that are not. I can control my own mind and reactions, now that I have that ability, I know that it’s vital to not passing on my crazies to my kids.
What changes have you noted with your kids or in dealing with day-to-day matters in the last year since starting your Scientology auditing programs?
Our house is so much calmer. My husband and I barely argue now and if we do, it’s easily resolved. What used to turn into arguments followed by hours or days of silent resentment now is quickly resolved within minutes. I think “keeping score” is one of the easiest traps to fall into as parents (I did the last 5 diapers, now it’s your turn). It can drive a wedge between husband and wife. We’ve completely stopped doing that and don’t have the urge anymore. We are more loving and friendly towards each other and have really renewed our relationship since going Clear. We’ve been married 10 years and it seems like we are getting a while new lease on our relationship.
It’s much easier to handle what’s happening in front of you when you aren’t stuck thinking of the past, even in an unconscious way. We are both truly present with our kids and can handle each situation as it comes up without having to compare earlier situations and dredge up past upsets.
Our life goals have just gotten bigger and bigger and we are more able as individuals and can operate as a team. We’ve accomplished things in the last year that we didn’t think we’re possible. We have even bigger dreams and aspirations now and are steadily accomplishing them. Life is happy and good.
You also had your second baby amidst your auditing program. What differences did you note between your first and second pregnancies?
My first pregnancy was quite typical and plagued with the “normal” pregnancy symptoms. Mood swings, swelling, major weight gain, insomnia, headaches and so on and so forth. I even managed to sprain an ankle.
My second pregnancy was a dream. I was receiving auditing the entire time and maintained a healthy diet. I slept like a baby, was full of energy right up to 40 weeks and my only complaint was a bit of heart burn. I had a feeling of calmness throughout and had none of the previous “what ifs” running through my head. We planned for and had a homebirth. 2 1/2 hours and it was done. I healed faster and adjusted to the newborn phase again better than last time. I recieved an after-delivery assist a few months after delivery, before going Clear, and the entire postpartum fog disappeared overnight. I felt like I had literally walked out of a dark room.
I feel beyond thankful that we are Scientologists and have access to real solutions like these that can translate into such tangible benefits in the real world.