Thus Spake Mackenzie

Mackenzie explaining the way of things.
Mackenzie explaining the way of things.

Memorable Mackenzie quotes, as she grows through childhood.  Right now, basically half of the full sentences she says are “funny” though I’m sure it will get more ridiculous as time goes on.  🙂

9/22/2013 – 4 years old:

Mackenzie, at a birthday party, sits down with two of her 5-year-old friends and attempts to play with them.
Friend: “You can’t play with us. We are FIVE and you are only FOUR.”
Mackenzie: “But I’m just as big as you are.” (she is, if not bigger)
Friend: “Well, you still can’t play with us, because we’re smarter.”
Mackenzie: “No, I’m smarter than you.”
Friend: “No you’re not.”
Mackenzie: “I am. What’s a chrysalis?”
Friend: <<dumbfounded look>>

7/20/2013 – 3 years old:

Mackenzie is concentrating HARD at the kitchen table.  She looks up from her work, and says: Mackenzie, utterly intensely concentrated at the table: “Dad, I’m making a list of what you need to get at the store. GET ALL THESE THINGS. And you write down “sharks” and “whales”, ok?”

Mackenzie, utterly intensely concentrated at the table: “Dad, I’m making a list of what you need to get at the store. GET ALL THESE THINGS. And you write down “sharks” and “whales”, ok?”

5/7/2013 – 3 years old:

Mackenzie the Beautiful
This just in from the I-didn’t-know-that-was-an-option Department:
Mackenzie, walking out to the car this morning for school, says (randomly): “Daddy – aren’t you so super glad that I didn’t stick one of my dinosaurs in the Honda’s tailpipe?”

This just in from the I-didn’t-know-that-was-an-option Department:

Mackenzie, walking out to the car this morning for school, says (randomly): “Daddy – aren’t you so super glad that I didn’t stick one of my dinosaurs in the Honda’s tailpipe?”

4/29/2013 – 3 years old:

On the way to school this morning:
Mackenzie: “Why aren’t we GOOOING?!”
Daddy: “Well, there’s a Toyota Camry in front of us that just isn’t going fast.”
Mackenzie: “Maybe that’s because his engine isn’t strong. I think he needs like a new battery, or a hood scoop maybe. Then he’d go faster.”

4/26/2013 – 3 years old:

Deep thoughts from Mackenzie Reeves: Kathryn, helping Mackenzie go potty:
Mackenzie: “Mommy – can you hear that, what I’m doing?
Kathryn: “Um…you’re scratching your butt?”
Mackenzie: “No mom, I’m scratching my back. And if you don’t have a back, your butt will fall off.”

3/10/2013 – 3 years old:

Me: “Um…honey, I think you should probably try to go the bathroom first.”
Mackenzie: “Why?”
Me: “Because, hon, you’re doing the peepee dance.”
Mackenzie: “No daddy. That’s just a beautiful dance I’m doing.” (begins doing the peepee dance again, but with a little flourish) “See? I don’t have to go potty.”
9/18/2012 – 3 years old:

Mackenzie at dinner, is dead-serious when wolfing down a massive bowl of tuna & noodles. She then turns to me with a demanding stare, and says, “Daddy – soon I WILL be able to reach the pedals. So, when I turn 5 or 7 or 9 I CAN drive the Honda Odyssey by myself. YES OR NO.”

9/16/2012 – 3 years old:

My daughter to me this morning: “When we go to Oregon, I will teach you how to play volleyball, OK? You will look at me, and you will LEARN.”

7/15/2012 – 2 years, 10 months old:

Driving through Rock Creek Park, we saw a small deer patiently waiting to cross the road. Mackenzie exclaims, “LOOK! It’s a Bambi crossing the road!! And I think he’s looking both ways!!”

7/6/2012 – 2 years, 10 months old:

After eating what seemed like a half-ton of green beans for dinner today, Mackenzie asked us, “Daddy – if I eat so many green beans, will my poop be green?”  We told her that may indeed be the case.  She then started listing off other fruit like carrots, strawberries, etc implying that she may get a varied palette with each, finishing with: “…aaaand, if I eat blueberries, my poop will be BLUE! Buuuttt, if I eat flowers, then my poop will be MANY colors. BUT it will smell TERRIBLE!!!”

6/23/2012 – 2 years, 10 months old:

Mackenzie on our way home from getting our car fixed at the shop today:  “Daddy – OK.  First I’m going to unbuckle my seatbelt and get Lightning McQueen dat fell down, den we will go home, go inside, take a little nap, get up, and go drive a Mazdaspeed 3.  OK?  Those are my problems.  That’s the important things.”

5/18/2012 – 2 years, 8 months old:

OK, Mackenzie just summed up my entire disdain for folks who buy SUV’s only for status, and not for any intent to actually use the vehicle.

We were just driving home, when Mackenzie spots a car out her window that she can’t identify.  “What’s that one, daddy?”  “It’s a Ford Explorer, honey.”  “Oh”, and then with some disdain, she says, “If it’s a Ford Explorer, what’s it ‘exploring’?  It should go exploring on trails, maybe.”

5/17/2012 – 2 years, 8 months old:

Mackenzie was with our au pair at the DMV when she spotted a policeman who was there on-duty.  She matter-of-factly told our au pair, “There’s a policeman – I’m just going to go over and tell that policeman to find the bad man that took daddy’s bicycle and put him in jail, OK?”

5/16/2012 – 2 years, 8 months old:

Mackenzie was in our minivan, playing in the 3rd-row seat.   When it was time to go, mommy told her to come up and sit in her carseat so they could go.  She wanted to stay in the back.  Mommy then insisted, “Well, Mackenzie, when we get on the highway you need to have your seatbelt on, or else the policeman will stop us.”  Mackenzie then looked at mommy intently and said, “But mommy – Life IS a highway.”  Taken aback, mommy said, “Oh…and do you want to ride it all night long?”  She agreed that she did, and got up into her carseat.

One guess at what her favorite song in the world is right now.

5/5/2012 – 2 years, 8 months old: 

Mackenzie showing off her pet worm, "Wheel Well".
Mackenzie showing off her pet worm, “Wheel Well”.

Digging by the river, we found a bunch of worms. This one in particular was apparently her “pet” worm. I asked her what the worm’s name was. With no comm-lag*, she replied, “This is my worm, and her name is Wheel Well.”

* comm-lag: “When asked a question, how long does it take him to answer? When a remark is addressed to him, how long does it take for him to register and return? The elapsed time is what is called the communication lag.” Ref: “Communication in Marriage

4/20/2012 – 2 years, 7 months old: 

In addition to being an irreconcilable car fanatic, Mackenzie has also recently been watching the Pixar movie Cars.   So, this weekend, Mackenzie is out in the back yard, and her mom asks if she’d like to help her pull some weeds.  She enthusiastically agrees, and sidles up next to her, gets these mean, narrow-slit eyes, and while getting ready to pull her first weeds says, “FOCUS.  Speed….I am SPEED.”  

4/4/2012 – 2 years, 7 months old: 

Mackenzie is introduced to The Princess Bride.  The resulting dialogue is here.

2/22/2012 – 2 years, 5 months old: 

Mackenzie, at her aunt’s house today, implored of her brother:

“Denali, please let me up on the bed.  I’ve had a hard day.”

2/21/2012 – 2 years, 5 months old: 

Mackenzie’s 12-month-old brother, Denali, looks out the window & spots some tractors going by.  He yells “DACT-DOR!!!!” excitedly.  Mackenzie, then says to me in her most didactic tone, “Daddy, Denali should say, ‘Daddy, look at those green excavators. OK?”

2/16/2012 – 2 years, 5 months old: 

Mackenzie:  “Daddy, I’m all finished with my cereal!”
Me: “That’s great!  What a big bowl you had too…you must be a big girl!”
Mackenzie:  “Das right daddy.  I’m a grown-up.”
Me: “Well, you’ll sure be a grown-up soon, if you eat like that.”
Mackenzie: “Das right daddy.  I will be a grown-up.  And THEN I will be able to go in a HOT TUB!!

12/5/2011 – 2 years, 3 months old: 

Here’s one that daddy-the-car-enthusiast just LOVED to hear:  We’re at home, and while eating dinner we hear a loud rice-rocket motorcycle drive by.  Mackenzie blurts out with, “Whoa – did you hear that sound daddy?  That was a motorcycle, but it SOUNDED like a Ferrari!!

(Back story – Mackenzie already can correctly identify a Prius, a Subaru, a Miata, a pickup truck, etc.  Mom bought her a silver Ferrari 458 Italia.  Mackenzie asked if it was a “really fast car”, so I pulled up a bunch of YouTube videos of folks flogging the hell out of 458 Italias and she loved it.  Ever since then she giggles and cheers whenever I full-throttle accelerate onto the freeway…even if I am just driving a Subaru wagon.)

10/2/2011 – 2 years, 1 month old: 

As you can easily see, Mackenzie’s little Thomas train goes with her just about everywhere and she talks to it like a teddy bear.  Today, at home, she announced she needed to go pee.  She pulled her pants off all by herself, grabbed her little Thomas, and scampered off to the bathroom.  Then, after some time, my wife and I hear this little voice from the bathroom, “That’s farting, Thomas!”

10/1/2011 – 2 years, 1 month old: 

I finish cleaning the PB & jelly off of Mackenzie’s face.  She says, “See, that’s a REALLY CLEEEEEN FACE!  Dank you daddy, you’re a really helpful man!” 

9/20/2011 – 2 years old: 

Yesterday, after picking Mackenzie up from school, Kat asks her, “So what did you do at school today, Mackenzie?”  She replies,“Mommy, I did the pee pee in the potty at school, AAAAND I did the big poop at school  — BAM!!  Kathryn starts laughing, and Mackenzie gets this quizzical look on her face and asks, “Mommy, is the big poop funny?”

8/31/2011 – 2 years old: 

Mackenzie has started to talk in her sleep quite profusely – more profusely even, than her mother.  After babbling on about something incoherently, she last night, all of the sudden belts out with, “Where’s the big Thomas?” followed immediately by an exclamation of, “I SEE LOTS OF BUTTERFLIES!!!”.

8/25/2011 – 2 years old: 

This interchange which happened today required its own article: Cute Story: My 2-year-old Getting an Assist from a 3-year-old

7/27/2011 – 23 mos old: 

James (Mackenzie’s 3-yr-old friend who is visiting today): “I am a BOY.”
James to Kathryn: “What are you?”
Kathryn: “I am a GIRL.”
James to Mackenzie: “What are you?”
Mackenzie: “I am a HONEY!”

7/25/2011 – 23 mos old:

Mackenzie was demanding I take pictures of her taking flying leaps off the couch.  So, I set up to do so, she leaps off the couch and belly flops on the floor, hard.  This is usually where we do a “Tell me about it” assist and ask her what happened, but after crying for a sec, she comes to me and lets loose this flurry of a sentence saying, “Daddy!  I was doing the BIG JUMP and I WENT DOWN and BONKED and I was WHAT’S HAPPENING?!!”

7/25/2011 – 23 mos old:

We’re crossing Arlington Memorial Bridge, and Mackenzie spots the eagle statues that stand atop four pillars that guard the entrance to Arlington Cemetery.  She points out the window and exclaims, “DADDY!!! LOOK!  I SEE THREE BIG CHICKENS!!!”

7/22/2011 – 22 mos old:

We’re driving up to New York, and passing downtown Baltimore.  Mommy points at Baltimore and tells her that the big buildings over there are a “city”.  Mackenzie looks curiously at the city, and then spots a small clump of hi-rise apartments across the harbor and then, indicating them as well as downtown Baltimore, says, “Ya mommy – LOOK!  There’s a baby city and a daddy city!”

7/19/2011 – 22 mos old:

It’s bedtime.  I walk into Mackenzie’s room to get her into her PJs, but she’s nowhere to be seen.  I say, assuming she’s hiding, “OK, Mackenzie – time for PJ’s!”  Then, a little voice from the closet says, “No, daddy.  I’m checking my email.”

7/13/2011 – 22 mos old:

Mackenzie: “Mommy, Denali is REALLY LITTLE. And Mommy is REALLY BIG! And Mackenzie is REALLY CUTE!!!”

7/10/2011 – 22 mos old: 

Mackenzie: “Mommy!! I’m TOO LITTLE!
Mommy: “Too little for what?”
Mackenzie: “I’m too little to be BIG!”

7/9/2011 – 22 mos old:

Mackenzie’s friend Lydia is currently her opinion leader.  After daddy lets out a big yawn, Mackenzie pipes up consolingly and says, “Daddy, you’re yawning?  That’s ok – Lydia’d be yawning too.”

7/7/2011 – 22 mos old:

Mackenzie was looking through an encyclopedia looking for Thomas the Choo-Choo Train when this conversation ensued:
Mackenzie:  “Where is Thomas?? I’m looking for her.”
Mommy:  “Oh… Is Thomas a Girl?”
Mackenzie:  “NO mommy!”
Mommy:  “Sorry… Is Thomas a Boy?”
Mackenzie:  <annoyed that mommy could be so obtuse> “Nooo mommy — SHE IS A TRAIN!!”

 7/4/2011 – 22 mos old: 

Mommy:  “Mackenzie, you went the whole night without going pee pee in the diaper?”
Mackenzie:  “Yeah, Mommy! I don’t go pee pee in the bed – dat’s yuckty!”

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